Sing Us A Yawn, It’s Soriano Man
Like Billy Joel, Alfonso Soriano is washed up and in a New York state of mind. Don't tell A-Rod, Christie Brinkley is his type of gal. Soriano getting traded to the Yankees is the best news for him in...
View ArticleTop 100 Starters for 2014 Fantasy Baseball
You're gonna find this utterly incredible, but, with these top 100 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball, I've put out all of my 2014 fantasy baseball rankings. Tomorrow will be the top 100 overall, then...
View Article2014 AL East Spring Training Preview
The hardest division in the league, which includes last year’s world champs, looks to be just as intense again. For that matter, it probably will be that way for the foreseeable future. My favorite...
View ArticleAtlanta Pit Crew Signs Dale Ervinhart III
Y'all know why this is happening to Kris Medlen, right? Why he's preparing for Tommy John surgery? It's the breeding patterns of the Flat-Billed Pitchypus and their likely extinction. If you iron your...
View ArticleThe Official 2014 Razzball Picks
It's official because we don't deal in unofficial. Whatever that means. Which is nothing, if you're wondering. But it does make the post feel more important. Delusions of grandeur? That's my life story...
View ArticleTwo-Startapalooza — Week 1
As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link. As esteemed Creed frontman Scott Stapp once sang: "Let’s play ball, it’s game day. We...
View ArticleCrazy Patience Pays With Frazier, Cheers!
It's nice when your chickens come home to roost. Sure, chickens coming home to roost is usually used to indicate a negative, but whoever heard of roosted chickens not being delicious. Lemon pepper,...
View ArticleIt’s Always Thumb Thing With Hamilton
Lots of people tried to explain to me why you don't slide into first base. I still don't get it, so apparently I'm dense. Is 1st base lifted higher than other bases? Are there Lilliputians standing by...
View ArticleTwo-Startapalooza: Week 3
As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link. “Matt Moore is a bust,” fantasy expert Cocker Cockleysworth says. “He got lit up in...
View ArticleSpringer Time For Houston And Fantasy
The Houston Astros who crawled through a river of shizz and came out clean on the other side. The entire organization looks up in the air, rain beating down. Hey, Bus Driver, take the Astros to...
View ArticleMets Go From JV To Junior Farnsity
Terry Collins announced a change at the top of Mets bullpen system on the down, Jose Valverde would concede the job to Kyle Farnsworth. Valverde handed him the ball, and like a true sportsman said,...
View ArticleDraftKings – Saturday In The Park
So it's Saturday, you ain't got nothing better to do so slide on over to DraftKings. I mean what ekse could you be doing that will take the time it takes to set-up a lineup. Mowing the lawn, really it...
View ArticleThere’s Thumb Thing Harpering Here
...what it is ain't exactly clear. You gotta stop, doctor, take an MRI, see if any ligaments gone awry. Cause this is just more signs of a local Harper unravelin'. His hustlin' got my ass wondering...
View ArticleLester Ks 15 A’s Because Of Their Long-Vowel Pronunciation
On Saturday, Jon Lester threw a gem: 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 15 Ks. Such a gem that if that were a blood diamond, diplomats from Monrovia would be lined up in the streets of Liberia for a taste of...
View ArticleKendrys Sleeplys Without Seattle
Back in June, about six weeks ago, the Twins were liking their chances this year. They went out and spent money on Kendrys Morales, just to put them over the hump. Then about five weeks and six days...
View ArticleRCL Update: The Hate-man Cometh
Long before I became a hack over here at Razzball, I was a frequent commenter known as "Jack Full of Hate". J-FOH is an acronym for those that haven't figured that out yet. I was known for my rants,...
View ArticleRays Deal A Myers Lemon For Prospect Lemonade
It's beginning to feel like it's not an offseason without a trade of Wil Myers. In three short years, he's gone from the Royals to the Rays and now on to the Padres. Only place he can go from the...
View ArticleThis Week In Razz…
Well, baseball is finally back. And boy, were there some things to talk about. Welcome to another installment of This Week In Razz, a review of what you might have missed while being productive at your...
View ArticlePomeranz is da Bomberanz
Drew Pomeranz notched his first win of 2015 last night pitching seven scoreless innings, allowing just two hits and punching out six Mariners. You my boy, Drew! Not too long ago, Pomeranz was once a...
View ArticleTomas No Mas AAA
The Diamondbacks decided now is the time to call up Yasmany Tomas! Hold on, exclamation mark, let's examine. !, "Do we have to? I'm a sucker for excitement." Tomas was only hitting .190 in Triple-A. !,...
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